The Cancer Chronicles
An Anthology Series
By Kevin Keyser
So this is Part 2 of the Cancer Chronicles. This is about settling in to home, but more about the spiritual and life changes that have occur to all make this work for you.
“So then you get to go home. But it’s different….”
The Way and the Willow
I will bend like the Willow tree.
I will not break.
I shall heed the words, unspoken.
Knowing is never as fun as guessing.
I know what I have given up.
Or think I do.
Perhaps I have given up nothing.
All things being equal.
Life is change.
Maybe that is a message?
Adapt and grow.
Spread those wings.
Even though it hurts so much to do so.
The Monster is sitting on the floor;
Smiling at me.
Wants me to give in.
To give up.
No, I won’t.
There is a plan.
There is a path I must walk.
To learn more of the Way.
There is only one thing to do;
Walker in hand I take the first step.
Today Is Tomorrow
The sun is out.
Peeking ‘round the corner.
Like a child playing hide and seek.
Another gift to be used.
More lessons to be learned.
Come with me.
So we can be together.
Enjoy this gift.
It is time to live.
Grasp sunbeams with our bare hands.
Enjoy the wonder of it all.
Pushing Through It
I have to push through this;
The tiredness and the fear.
Sometimes it's hard to remember there is another purpose.
One the drugs can't steal away.
I am a writer, dammit.
I'm supposed to chronicle this journey.
Time to get back to that.
This Mission I'm supposed to be working on.
Without depression and with the best possible of moods.
Hard to do while you're all drugged up.
But God will find a way.
And I will follow.
“Love, you have no idea how important it is, until you need it. You always have God’s love, never forget that.”
I feel so very loved.
I am no longer going to say I have three families (Blood, Soul, Church.)
From now on you are all family.
I have realized so much these past few months.
I have seen miracles.
Large and small.
Felt God’s embrace.
Wrap around me.
Whisper: “I am here.”
I whisper back: “I know.”
I don’t know what the future holds.
But family is love.
And with you and God I will face it.
I have challenges.
The legs sometimes don't work properly.
And other things too
But don't we all have challenges?
One man doesn't have enough to eat.
That's quite a challenge.
Another person considers themselves unloved.
Without seeing that love is all around them.
Waiting to be embraced.
The child sees only a wet sandbox they cannot play in.
But there is a jungle gym right next to them monkey bars and a slide.
For want of a Sandbox the rest are missed.
We don't know what challenges other people have we only know our own.
Frequently we think we are the only ones who have them.
But we are not.
We are all challenged in some way. We have to grow and sometimes that requires challenges. Scary life changing transformative challenges.
We all have challenges better to learn their lessons. Then turn them loose. Let go of them. The Lord will take care of the rest.
It's the time of day just before the break of the Sun.
I'd like to say all is quiet with the world but that would be a lie.
I hear the cars rushing by on I-90 and I-294.
The uptick of planes taking off.
They used to say that Vegas was a city that never sleeps.
But now I think it's all cities. Awake and pulsing with energy not all of it very good.
Still it is quieter than normal and I can be alone with my thoughts a little bit.
Before the miasma of the drugs kick in cloud my thoughts.
It's a still and chilly fall morning.
Leaves are falling.
All's right with world.
I love waking up to rain.
Even 4 a.m. Cold and wet rain.
There is something about rain.
A promise of growth ahead.
Something that no matter how cold it is makes me feel warm inside.
Maybe it's a promise made long ago.
Maybe it's that pot of gold at rainbows end.
Maybe it's just the pitter-patter of the raindrops as they fall around me.
Protected in my house.
Waiting for the marvelous things to happen.
Then There is Peace
I finally got to go to Church today.
For the second time since the tumor was removed.
Waiting for my ride I was nervous.
It’s weird to be so isolated and then find yourself in a group of people.
After arriving all the nervousness melted away.
Like it was never there.
All I felt was comfort.
Happiness and love.
As if Jesus had his arm around me.
Saying “let me be your peace”.
And he is….
This concludes Part 2.
Look for Part 3 in a month or two as it is still playing out.